| Committed |  | Author: Elizabeth Gilbert
Publisher: VIKING ADULT
Category: eBooks
This item is no longer available
Rating:  186 reviews
Sales Rank: 165
Format: Kindle Book
Media: Kindle Edition
Pages: 304
Number Of Items: 1
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
ASIN: B002VUFKG6
Publication Date: December 17, 2009
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Product Description
At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both were survivors of previous bad divorces. Enough said.) But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government, which-after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing-gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving into this topic completely, trying with all her might to discover through historical research, interviews, and much personal reflection what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is. Told with Gilbert's trademark wit, intelligence and compassion, Committed attempts to "turn on all the lights" when it comes to matrimony, frankly examining questions of compatibility, infatuation, fidelity, family tradition, social expectations, divorce risks and humbling responsibilities. Gilbert's memoir is ultimately a clear-eyed celebration of love with all the complexity and consequence that real love, in the real world, actually entails.
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Showing reviews 1-5 of 186
 A Thoughtful and Sobering Look at Marriage January 5, 2010
KimberlyA. (SC)
219 out of 234 found this review helpful
Embarking on writing a major work after the spectacular Eat, Pray, Love, must have been no easy feat. However, undaunted and honest as ever, Elizabeth Gilbert provides an eye-opening and thorough account of the colossal entity we call marriage. We have all grown up accepting marriage as a given. It seems to be taken as common place that people simply grow up and get married- and then (of course) live happily ever after. Or is it that easy?
Not so fast, Gilbert warns us. Do we completely know what we are getting into? What happens to us as independent beings when we marry? What makes a marriage more likely to succeed, and what makes it more likely to fail? What are the economic, social, and legal ties that bind us and do we even understand the significance of them? How are we able to somehow throw love in the mix as well? Extremely timely and pertinent questions with serious implications. Some of the most interesting and thought provoking aspects of the book- a glimpse into the lives of the Hmong women in Asia (who view marriage not as a solution to all of life's problems and seem to have no qualms whatsoever about this), how marriage was viewed by different religions throughout the centuries- not always so 'sacred', and the way marriage has been used to secure money, power, and property throughout history. Quite simply, Gilbert explains this institution has been pulled, prodded, and changed for centuries- yet still it remains. There is something, then that draws us still to marry. Gilbert (thrown rather harshy into marriage by the US government) walks away with a brokered peace with marriage and a deeper understanding of what it means to be married- as she embarks on her own marriage. The reader has a deeper understanding as well.
As a final note, what is more important if not the subject of who we spend our lives with? Who we share our faith, time, children, money, and precious moments with? As a new mother who married five years ago at the age of 24 (I know this puts me into the danger zone :), this book has given me fuller understanding of what it means to be married and coming to respect my own marriage as an imperfect, changing, and totally lovable creature- much like my own baby son. (Quite simply, the white gown and endless talks about the church and reception hall didn't really matter- the chats we had about faith, child-rearing, navigating our political differences, and in-laws definitely mattered.) It has once been said that 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Gilbert's book suggests that perhaps an unexamined marriage is not worth having- and I'd agree.
Committed. . .the Sequel to EPL January 8, 2010
Anne Caroline Drake (Washington)
47 out of 53 found this review helpful
"Committed" is a natural sequel to EPL. Elizabeth Gilbert's EPL is her path to recovery from divorce.
Most folks who have been divorced are highly reluctant to trot down the aisle again. . .will we be more successful this time?
Gilbert and "Felipe" were broke and broken at the end of their first marriages. They were gun-shy until the INS got out the shotgun.
The book is equal part examination of how the US government can create havoc in people's most intimate relationships as it is an examination of what it takes to have an enduring marriage and to experience unconditional love and true intimacy.
If you are looking for a starry-eyed romantic look at love, this isn't the book for you.
But, if you are serious about creating an enduring, mature, loving, intimate relationship, this book will give you much to ponder and discuss with the love of your life. It would be an excellent gift for any engaged couple.
Loved it - a lot to laugh at, and learn January 6, 2010
Lisa Mckay (California, USA)
22 out of 28 found this review helpful
I loved this book. I admit that as an Australian who recently married an American after a whirlwind long-distance courtship that ranged from Papua New Guinea to Kenya, Committed gave me a lot to recognize and not a few things to laugh at. However, I don't think you have to be a globetrotting reckless romantic (or, on the other hand, someone deeply wary of marriage) to enjoy this book, and to learn from it. The story is cleverly structured by the necessity of a government-mandated "shotgun wedding". The reflections on the history and meaning of marriage and committed relationships are inherently interesting. I appreciated the lens she turned upon her own life, and I think Gilbert is at her best when she's sharing reactions and interactions that spring from her closest relationships. I was left wanting more, of everything. (Lisa McKay, author of My Hands Came Away Red).
Thankful for skeptics! January 14, 2010
Kim R. Stahler
11 out of 13 found this review helpful
Reading Liz Gilbert (yes, I am now on a first name basis with her, ha ha; at least I feel like it) is like savoring a long letter from your smartest, coolest girlfriend. Committed is a departure from her previous book (and she's written several other successful books, which allowed her to make the adventure-filled and healing voyages she wrote about in Eat Pray Love).
People generally have strong feelings about Eat Pray Love - they love it or they really don't love it. I first spotted a recommendation for it in Philadelphia Magazine and was later given a copy by a friend who thought I could use it at the time. Boy, was she right. If you can't relate to Liz's struggles and triumphs, you have probably not ever been divorced.
Liz is now fully recovered from her divorce, well, she would say, as recovered as you can be, though it took years. Committed is part sociology and part-autobiography, an explanation of how she ended up married again after swearing off matrimony forever, as did her new partner. She deals with setbacks not only by traveling but by researching - in this case, a good sifting of marriage customs throughout history.
The parts about the women in her family are fascinating examples of what women in different generations have had to deal with as feminism blossomed in the twentieth century. If you have not read Stephanie Coontz's book Marriage: A History (which I keep meaning to), you will find this an eye-opening challenge to common beliefs about marriage, and you will learn how many of them evolved, when the church became involved in marriage, and what amazingly tolerant customs exist in other countries, such as Iran.
Some interesting tidbits: As soon as people stop marrying for pragmatic reasons (such
as family mergers, economics, and community pressures) and start marrying for love, divorce rates soar. Second marriages are not statistically doomed after all. A Rutgers study listing the seven features enduring marriages have in common will have you taking inventory of your current and past relationships. Surprisingly, one element that does not improve a marriage is having children at home -- the study found that higher-satisfaction marriages involve children who are grown or no children.
Another survey noted that the quality young women most want in a husband is his ability to "inspire" them, whereas the wished-for qualities in the 1920s were more commonly "decency" or the ability to provide. And have you heard about the Marriage Benefit Imbalance? It's not good news for women, since marriage statistically puts them behind in terms of health, wealth, happiness, risk for violence, and life expectancy, while doing just the opposite for men. So why do so many women want it so much? The author attempts to answer this too.
Thank you, Liz, for pointing out the common sense reasons for legalizing gay marriage. That only made me like her more.
I enjoyed the unusual format of non-fiction mixed with personal story and look forward to seeing this author at the Free Library. I think I would enjoy anything by Elizabeth Gilbert because of her warmth and wit, her ability to admit her own failings, and her creative ways of tackling both interesting subjects as well as life's challenges.
Committed is NOT Eat, Pray, Love... July 28, 2010
P. Vallee (St- Lazare, Quebec Canada)
6 out of 7 found this review helpful
And guess what? That doesn't make it a poor book only a different one. Can everyone who read Eat, Pray, Love and are considering reading this one please understand this one point? Look, if you're anything like me and love books you'll invariably find authors every once in awhile that resonate or appeal to you. Very often when this happens I'm apt to look a little more into their background to find out where they're coming from. This is always an interesting exercise and in the case of Miss Gilbert her background as a magazine writer, mostly for men's magazines informs her style. Thus Last American Man was written very much as a reportage of what she saw. Eat, Pray, Love recounted her adventures in finding herself after a difficult relationship and divorce. For those expecting another such book I think it's a little unreasonable to expect Miss Gilbert to be revisiting something she's presumably resolved.
Committed is the natural extension of this journey as she finds a man, falls in love and begins quite naturally to question all that we as a culture heap on the concept of marriage and being committed.
Having reached middle age and lived her life up to this point largely as a single woman she brings to the examination a more mature and balanced viewpoint than is currently popular in so many reality shows which continue to belabor the old canard of a "fairy tale romance". Not that these don't exist but romance and marriage just like infatuation and love are all very different things and Miss Gilbert deftly addresses these along with many of the cultural trappings that surround the institution of marriage. Hers is a fairly thorough but never tedious overview of how different cultures define male and female roles, expectations and dynamics not only today but through history. The issue of children, to have or not have them is one that many couples should read before embarking on yet another commitment all on its own!
All in all a very interesting read, an active reflection by a woman who is facing a choice many of us make or have made at early stages of our lives but who now looks at them through more mature and dare I say more sober eyes. Are some of her views unorthodox? In some cases 'yes' but that's precisely what makes them refreshing. My wife and I read it together finding it raised many interesting topics for discussion. I would recommend Committed to anyone who's in a relationship, married or not. A book worth reading is one that hopefully raises challenging issues - Committed is one of those books.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 186
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